This group is for moms who work outside of the house while raising children. Anything that may confront us in the everyday life of a working mom such as returning to work after birth, pumping, childcare, separation anxiety, what to do when school is canc
Group Keywords: working moms, working, pumping, expression, childcare, separation, coping
Stephanie Jones
in Working Moms
updated 9 months ago
I'm feeling a little angst-- my DD who will be 2 here shortly will soon be going to daycare 4 days a week. She's been going to daycare since she was 4 months, but only for 2 days a week. I'm starting to feel guilty about her going so much. On one hand I know she will have fun (she is a very active and outgoing toddler) but on the other hand I have this guilt about "I should be the one raising her" and am feeling that 4 days is just over the top.
Those of you who have her little ones in care full time, was this ever an issue for you? How did you deal with it? What do you do to make up that quality time w/ your little one?
I'm not sure it's possible to go through care decisions without some angst, no matter what you decide.
For me, DD spends about 45 hours a week at daycare. Which is a lot. I think I'm worse off than she is. She has fun all day, and I miss it all.
Of course it all hinges on finding great daycare. Before I found a good place I stressed every day about how to improve her situation. Now at least I know she's happy during our time apart, and she does get to do a lot more activities than I would ever have time for.
Quiet time at home is just as important as activities and stimulation, though - even just open-ended play by herself while you do chores. There's no "one way" to foster child development.
And no one will ever replace Mama :-)
I now what you mean. All my kids went to daycare fulltime till It really mad me upset. I wanted to be home with them more. I found something I can do from home while I was working full time and now 10 months later I am at home with my kids. I love it. Dare care is good for a lot of reasons though. It helps child develop relationships with others and be in school setting. It is expensive and carrys germs though..but what doesnt. lol
It did take a lot of my paycheck and that bothered me. I didnt think it was worth not being without my kids to spend 60% of what I made to let someone else watch my kids. Then another 20% of it was in docter bills because of stress from the job. Anyway if your interested in doing something from home you can go to my website and I can tell you more about what I do to help. Either way just take a deep breath and do the best you can and everything will be ok. God Bless
here is my site if you want it www.FutureFromHome.com
Sandra, 9 months ago
I can feel your frustration & I emphathize with this - it can be a difficult issue to deal with. However, I really don't like the idea that you feel like you "should be the one raising her." Please don't feel like you're not! Of course you are! Some one told me that once - and I was really hurt and offended.
I am my DD's ONLY MOTHER - I am her caregiver, nurturer and moral guide. My DD may be in daycare but I AM RAISING MY DAUGHTER. And you are too - in the way you choose, in the way your best feel honors your commitment to her and your family.
I work full time and my DD has been in daycare full time since she was 1 (she is now 2). She is vibrant, bright, and well adjusted - in fact, if I can brag, I feel like she is ahead of stay at home kids her age because she is constantly stimulated by her excellent daycare teacher & her classmates. I do work from home so when I can I pick her up early (or drop her off later in the morning) to have some extra time with her. But most often she tells me she's ready to "see friends" and "play on the playground" - and that's because she goes to daycare.
I know its hard, I cried when I took her to part time and I felt the guilt of going full-time - but looking back I know I shouldn't have felt so bad. I feel like its an investment - in her, in our family and my well being. No matter what Dr. Laura says I don't feel guilty about working. And that does not make me a bad mom or bad wife. I choose to work because it stimulates me, makes me happy and I want my family (especially in these economic times) to have as much financial resources as we can. So if I can be a healthier mom, a happier mom why should I feel bad? My DD has a healthy sense of who I am - when I pick her up she proudly yells "That's my mommy!" We then go home, color or play, then we make dinner for Daddy and for a few hours enjoy our bath/bedtime routine as a family.
It's all about perspective and your commitment to her. Please don't let anyone disrespect your decision... you're doing the best you can. And if you do it with dignity and respect for your child no one can fault you for it!
Sorry for the long post but I feel very strongly about this issue! If I can ever be of help please drop me a note! Us working moms gotta stick together!
:)